Motherhood - from surviving to thriving

When my child was first diagnosed with ASD, she was non-verbal, and I found myself navigating a world I knew little about. At the time, I was pursuing postgraduate studies to qualify as a therapist and working full-time in a demanding role in the NGO sector. Like many mothers, I had ambitions for my career and a vision for my future, but when faced with the reality of my child’s needs, I made the difficult decision to step away from both work and studies. It was not an easy choice to become a full-time stay at home mother, but it was one rooted in love and the understanding that my child needed me more than ever.

The early days were overwhelming. I remember sitting through assessments and therapy sessions, feeling completely out of my depth. There were moments when I felt isolated, as though no one could truly understands the weight I was carrying. But through those challenges, I discovered something profound: resilience is not about never falling; it’s about rising every time you do.

One of the most significant lessons motherhood has taught me is the power of adaptability. Raising a child with special needs requires constant adjustment- whether it is learning new communication strategies or advocating for support within educational systems. Over time, these challenges strengthened my ability to problem-solve and remain calm under pressure. They also taught me to celebrate small victories, like the first time my daughter said “mummy” after years of being non-verbal, or said “I love you mummy” after years of work on understanding emotions and feelings. Moments like these reminded me that progress is not always linear but is still worth celebrating.

Motherhood also brought me face-to-face with intergenerational trauma. As a Black woman and mother, I carried the weight of cultural expectations and unspoken struggles passed down through generations. Growing up, mental health was not openly discussed in our community; strength was often equated with silence. But becoming a mother forced me to confront these patterns. To support my child fully, I had to heal myself first- acknowledging my own wounds and breaking cycles of silence and shame.

In doing so, I learned that resilience is not just about enduring; it’s about transforming pain into purpose. My journey inspired me to create safe spaces for other mothers like me- women navigating similar challenges who need someone to say, “You’re not alone.” It also taught me the importance of self-care, even in small doses. Whether it is taking a moment to breathe deeply or seeking support from professionals and my trusted circle, prioritising my well-being has made me a better person and a better mother.

“You’re not alone.”

Today, as I look back on this journey, I am proud of how far we have come, not just as a family but as individuals who have grown together through adversity. My child’s diagnosis did not just teach me resilience; but gave me a deeper sense of purpose and an unwavering belief in the power of love and perseverance.

To any mother facing similar challenges: know that you are stronger than you think. Resilience is already within you, you do not learn it, you cultivate it from within, just make space for it to grow within you. And in those moments when it feels too heavy to carry this load alone, remember that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but an act of courage. Motherhood comes with no manual, it may test us in unimaginable ways, but it also has the power to heal us in ways we never thought possible.